have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
