spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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