When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
