Dual....:-)
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
