Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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