Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
