Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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