I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
