So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
