Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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