So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
