Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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