im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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