can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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