I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
