i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
