Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
