im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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