I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
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