I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
