my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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