Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
My vagina is officially offended.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
