Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
