I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
