3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
