On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
