My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
