But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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