for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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