O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
