1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
