Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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