Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
