I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
