but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
