so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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