Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
