Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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