just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
