Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
