so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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