There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
