i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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