I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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