Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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