wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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