I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I bet he comes in French.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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