we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
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