HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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