I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
please come you make the beer taste better
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
